This question has been in my mind for a very long time now, and I still struggle to find a proper answer.
So the thing is, when someone approaches me on the streets asking for some money, I could give them a couple hundreds or a couple thousand Forints (Hungarian currecny) or even more. But how much am I supposed to give?
When I say “supposed to” I mean what is the good thing to do there. I’m looking for some general guideline that could inform me on how much I should give.
You see, a couple of hundreds might help them somewhat, but for a couple thousands they can buy themselves a proper meal. Yes, our currency is very weak. Still, if they are a homeless person, without a job, these amounts don’t really make a meaningful difference considering their general circumstance. They still cannot get themselves porper shelter, or get themselves cleaned etc. It kind of feels like, in a weird way, that we are only prolonging their suffering, giving enough to get by but not enough to make a lasting change.
I could give away more of my money, let’s say buy them an RV, or pay their rent for a month or so, this way at least they have a place to sleep. Then again, that would very much affect my own livelihood, kind of I would be giving up on my own life and goals for another person. For which, I suppose you could make a case to a be a good thing. But I don’t think this approach could be a general rule, that I should follow every time, or others should follow.
So, we need to find a balance between giving the minimum and giving up our own life for someone else’s. Where is that line? And I think this is kind of my problem here. That line, would be artificial, would be cherry picking, what we feel like giving. Because I could do more, I have the means, but I wouldn’t give more because of that artificial line that I drew. I just don’t see what could inform me on how much is good enough.
Couple of days ago I was waiting for my bus at the bus station, when a girl approached me. She explained that she got stuck in the city, and she wanted me to buy her a sandwich at buffet at the station. First, I wanted to give her some change, she declined, saying she doesn’t want money, she is hungry. So, I agreed, we went to the buffet window. I let her pick what she wanted. That one sandwich quickly turned into a sandwich and a coke, and later into a second sandwich . I felt kind of cheated and felt I’m being taken advantage of, cause this is not what we agreed on. I was thinking of pointing that out, but at the same time, I could afford both the coke and the extra sandwich. So I paid, and left her with her food.
Later, I saw her going into the waiting area and gave the second sandwich to a guy.
I’m not sure what is true about her being stuck in the city, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. She asked for help cause she was hungry, or they were… and I had the means, so I helped.
This raises another concern that comes up in helping beggars on the street. Are we supposed ot make our decision on giving them money or not, based on what will they use the money on that we give them? We could say, they are people in need and they should know what they need. At the same time, can we expect of a person who cannot meet their basic needs, lives out on the street, to make rational decisions? I’m not sure. But there is so much we cannot control so I think what we need to focus on is that if we can help, we should, and trust others will make good decisions, or at least they will try.
So, is there a lesson to be learned from my example at the bus station? Not sure. Maybe they were not honest and upfront about their situation, but perhaps it doesn’t really matter. They had a need, which I could satisfy, and I can comfort myself that in that situation, I did something good.
What about the answer to my original question? Maybe there is a simple answer: just give as much as I can afford. The rest will figure itself out.
Or maybe my questions is wrong all together and approaches this situation from a wrong angle.
Honestly, I don’t know if I managed to get my point across. I was struggling a lot writing this piece and I’m not sure if I got any closer to solution or any helpful insight. At least, I hope, this gets someone thinking about this topic.
As for me, thinking about these questions made me realize, I could do more to help others, so I will try.
Until next time. Take care.
Mátyás