I have encountered this term quite a few times, especially lately. Not sure if it has an official definition or strict rule of what it entails. I have a way of understanding it, interpreting it in my own way and it ties into the “dopamine detox” that I was talking about last time. No, I still haven’t done any research on that topic.
Getting back to slow living. I understand it as not chasing simple entertainment every waking second of our day, not consuming content all day, but letting ourselves just be, sit around, do some slow activity.
Since my last post I tried to limit my consumption of social media. This proved to be quite difficult, as the muscle memory of opening instagram when sitting on the toilet is quite engraved in me. After a couple of days, I managed to stop myself and replace that activity with writing down a my thoughts. With other types of consumption, I think the best way is to be intentional. I love some creators on YouTube, whose videos actually provide some value. They inform, educate, or simply entertain in a meaningful way. I did not want to completely cut those out of my life. To manage this, I decided that whenever I want to passively relax and consume, I will intentionally open the channel or video that I want to watch on YouTube. Watch it then close the app. No scrolling, no looking for other content. Just straight to the episode I wanted to watch and then leaving.
Of course, there were times when only after a couple of minutes did I realize that I have fallen back into that pattern of hunting for content to watch. As I said, muscle memory is strong. The key is to keep the idea of not wanting to scroll in the back of our minds, and hope we catch ourselves doing the thing which we want to avoid. This way we have to option to just stop, put down the phone, and start doing something else. Or not doing anything at all. I believe it is also a great trick we can employ. If there is nothing that I actually want to watch or do, instead of hunting for something on the internet to consume, it is better to just not do anything and sit with my thoughts and feelings.
This is a process. Constantly trying, keeping the idea in the back of my mind, trying to notice when I fall back into the bad habit of mindless consumption.
There is so much I want to do, but it seems I don’t have enough time in a day to do it all. At least that is what I thought. In reality, a lot of time has been lost to mindless scrolling, looking for easy dopamine sources, to passively indulge myself in something that supposedly makes me feel good. But all that time could be used for something meaningful, something that actually is important to me: reading, learning something, drawing or writing.
Since I managed to limit the amount of time I spend on instagram, I feel much calmer. I don’t have that annoying feeling of FOMO, or overwhelm. The FOMO of I should be doing something, I should be somewhere else, I should be making content. Or the feeling that I’m falling behind life, I’m doing everything wrong cause I’m not living that life that I see shared online.
Or getting overwhelmed emotionally, due to the constantly changing feelings that a story or a reel induces in me. That is exhausting. At one moment I can see someone’s success then in the next one I’m watching a cute cat being silly, then again seeing something disturbing is happening on the other side of the world. This is just too much.
All these things are in the cloud, far away, they are not tangible, far disconnected from my physical reality. Watching these takes away time and energy from my own here and now.
So, reducing these experiences allowed me to be more in my body, more connected to the present, to the world I’m actually in,
All this contributes to slow living, because I don’t get the need to do everything all the time. It slows down my day and my mind, letting me focus on what is in front of me.
I am in the middle of a home renovation. I’ve taken last week off of work, to renovate our new apartment. It is a long process. Much, much longer than my naive mind anticipated it. At the beginning the amount of work was discouraging. I barely could get myself to start doing what was needed. And the longer I was procrastinating the more I was getting stressed of not making any progress.
Sanding the walls, removing all the remaining bits of pieces of wallpaper, going in with scrapers into the tiniest crevices is such an annoying, long and exhausting process. I had immense resistance towards these tasks. I felt this is too much. If I was to start doing any of it, I will have to do that for ever.
Luckily, with the support and nudging from my partner we managed to start dealing whit what needed to be done. Slowly, one thing after another.
Somehow, in my mind this also relates to the notion of slow living. I don’t have to solve every issue right away. I’m not in a hurry, I don’t need an artificial deadline of completing everything. I can chip away at each little thing. After letting go of that pressure I have put on my self by trying to have everything done in the most effective and fastest way possible, renovating became quite relaxing.
I only had to focus on the task I was currently working on. The outside world stopped existing. Everything else on my list had to wait. My sole goal was to do the thing the best I could, nothing more, nothing less. The whole process became kind of meditative in this way.
After a couple of days of working on our home, an even better thing happened. I was less stressed about the whole renovation and on top of that I had increased motivation to continue. I want to recall an “advice” I have shared in my “35 tips, tricks and maybe helpful advice, perhaps” pice: progress is the best motivator. It is so effing true. As I started to see the results of my labour, the walls looking cleaner, the room taking shape, I wanted to go back to the apartment more often. Now I’m at the point that I genuinely enjoy working on our future home and I almost miss it when I’m not there renovating.
The cherry on top? Physical exercise. After years of sitting at my desk, working in front of my monitor, just to finish work and to sit at the same desk to play some games, finally I was moving. I was using my body. Climbing ladders, carrying heavy bags of building material, bending down, kneeling, stretching. It felt nice. It energized me. It was refreshing. Not only for my body, but for my mind as well. I felt mentally stimulated. Even though I was physically tired, my mind was calm and collected.
All that talk about the importance and benefits of exercise is actually true. Who would have thought? Jokes aside, I knew I should be exercising regularly, but never got around doing it. Now it is just so tangible and real to actually experience the benefits.
Practice is key. Actually doing the thing, whatever it is, to experience it for ourselves.
In conclusion, slow living for me consist in less consuming mindlessly, doing everything with a bit of intention and making space and time to just be. Simply to exist. I feel lie, in the last two weeks, I got a bit closer to understanding how I want to live my day to days. What feels right for my mind and body.
I will continue on this path of experimenting, experiencing and trying to understand.
Until next time. Take care.
Mátyás
